her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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