I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
