hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She swung at the pinata with crutches
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
