I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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