now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
