Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
