He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
