i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You took a bar mat shot.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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