your thong is hanging out like whoa
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
