So drunk its hurt
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
