can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
