Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
