OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I lost the right to judge tonight
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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