So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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