Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
