Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
