We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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