Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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