We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
