cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
