He is an equal opportunity slut.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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