they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
