yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
