Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
