guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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