So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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