ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
my shit smells like andre
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
