Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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