i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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