My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
