So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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