I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
