How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
be right there i have to get my cape
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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