my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
