It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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