You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
