I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
