I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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