I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
