i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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