My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
