The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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