I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
