When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i think my mom watched the whole time
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
