Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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