Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
