But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
