She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
