How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
