I want to walk on stilts...naked
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
