Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
